Pretentious Food Trends

Okay, so I know it's been a little long since my last blog, and I've actually had this blog in my head for about 3 weeks now, so I figged it's time to post it. In an earlier blog I talk about many of the foods that I love, and how...depending on the establishment...I will harshly, or appropriately, criticize the food. This builds off of that last, and severely conscientious, judgement of food...my judgement of food, that is.

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This year I wanted to keep my birthday mellow. It wasn't an important number to anyone except to me (insomuch as I've finally turned the age that I've wanted to be frozen in time at since the age of 10). Mylo was going to take me to dinner, and since I'm far more particular when it comes to food, I got to choose the place. There are many, many eating establishments in Los Angeles that I would absolutely love to patronize...many, many...and I thought that this would be a welcome reason to try one of them, but alas, my birthday fell on Easter Sunday this year, and many establishments had modified menus, pre fixe offerings, odd hours of operation, etc. etc. etc. So, in the interest of getting Mylo to share a bottle of wine with me, we had to find a place that was walking distance from one of our houses. I chose a place close to mine, a Cali-franco eatery known for its wine cellar. That alone made me anticipate dinner. Of course I inspected the online "sample" menu and it looked promising.

When we got to the restaurant, we were seated at a small table in the middle. Our server was young and friendly...and did not know how to pronounce half of the menu items; she corrected my pronunciation of "meritage" (a made-up word for one of my fave wine blends that actually rhymes with "heritage"). We ordered a burrata plate (with carmelized yellow grape tomatoes and their house eggplant tapenade in the middle), and she didn't know that the heavenly pillow of cheese on the one side of the plate was the burrata. She is not my complaint, though.

My unwelcomed epiphany came when I was perusing the menu and then, as the evening wore on, trying to enjoy our food. It dawned on me that half of their menu items had changed since the online offering must have been posted. The menu had become a collection of pretentious, trendy food plates that had transcended the foodie restos and had already begun to infiltrate the chain establishments--much like Target has been successful at doing with its clothing (budget-minded threads with designs that were introduced at the New York Fashion Show a year or so earlier). Granted, I am not a clothier, nor do I regularly buy clothes, so Target is fine by me. But food? Food is a very different story.

The restaurant had a representative from almost every food trend in the food industry today: Colorado lamb, tilapia (the junk fish of the Polynesian Islands I might add), Kurabuto pork, and Wagyu (Kobe) beef--this is only a list of some of their meats. They "infused" the popular citrus trend with Mandarin sauces, Clementine sorbet, Meyer lemon reductions, and blood orange coulee. One of their two risotto dishes was a mushroom risotto (actually a porcini), while they employed morels in another dish. They were also trite enough to offer a beef tataki and Louisiana crab cakes. I almost half expected to see Diver scallops with a soy gelee or a yuzu foam, or better yet, an offering of something, anything, like a soup "served three ways."

There was absolutely nothing original on their menu, nothing at all.

The evening got worse. Their dishes were not executed well either. They were hardly pretty to look at on the plate. The burrata dish and BOTH of our entrees were also doused in a pesto (we had kabocha squash ravioli - yes, kabocha - and a lamb special with chunks of lamb that were SO chewy, it took me forever to eat half of my dish). The pesto completely overpowered the burrata cheese and the ravioli. It slightly added to my lamb dish which was oversalted, but otherwise underseasoned. And since nothing inspired me on their dessert tray, I ordered a cheese plate with 3 types of cheese (some kind of blue, a soft, and a semi-hard).

Mylo isn't the most critical restaurant patron (definitely not like me), and even he was still able to be completely unamused. We walked out of the restaurant wondering what exactly we had paid for.

Now this blog is not to say that I have a problem with certain food trends. Of course some of these dishes will be seen more frequently on menus across America because their ingredients are more easily available to resto kitchens and chefs, and they have picked up some popularity as well, thus many kitchens want to serve what they think their patrons will want to eat. I can understand that, the practice of following certain food trends. And I can understand the latter, choosing, and depending on, only certain popular trends at a place that is void of risk, the kind of place that depends on consistency and dependability in order to survive, the kind of place that served Chilean sea bass back in the day and before it was overfished. If you are the neighborhood mom-and-pop Italian restaurant that caters to families, you are not going to veer too much from a traditional Italian menu. In the same token, the local sushi restaurant will not be serving filet mignon. And the healthy American restaurant chain will always serve a combination thereof including every popular dish that is current and marketable.

I did not think that my little Cali-franco establishment was one of those places that wagered nothing and yet tried to provide a little bit of everything. I did not think that it was going to be so...uninspired. But I was very humbly, and completely, mistaken. Its price tag was definitely not reflective of this lack of creativity either. And its most recent reviews were quite favorable.

I do not have a response for this experience. I do not know what to say or how to avoid it in the future without being too auspicious, and, in the process, all but marking the evening. Of course, this is where my reasonable-thinking cap goes on. Had I been at a Daily Grill or a McCormick's and Schmick's, or even a Flemings, I might have judged this experience a little less harshly (as chains, they have to maintain a certain uniform and thus rather insipid standard across the board and in all of their locations).

I do, however, try to be appropriate and fair with my critical opinion of a food experience, and...that is why this one goes down in the books as being a really disappointing one.

(T.V.) Dinner for One

So, I just had a whirlwind trip to Vegas with five of my closest girlfriends (you know, one of those where you arrive midday Saturday, party all night, get no sleep, and hop back on a plane at 6 in the morning to return home). Suffice it to say, Sunday (today) has consisted of me detoxing, drinking tons of water, and catching up on sleep. By 6 p.m. I was ready for dinner, but not in the mood to drive anywhere, so rummaging through my cupboard and refrigerator, I threw together the following t.v. dinner (I ate it very satisfyingly in front of my television).

Asian-Italian Fusion Noodles

2 rolls bean thread noodles

1 green onion, chopped

1 T. sweet white onion, chopped

1 large garlic clove, peeled and minced

1 T. sun-dried tomatoes, packed in olive oil, coarsely chopped

1/2 T. fresh basil, chopped

1 sardine, chopped (about 1/3 can of sardines in olive oil)

1 T. Grapeseed oil

1/2 T. unsalted butter

1 T. soy sauce

Soak the noodles in very hot water while preparing the rest of the dish. Saute half of the green onion with the white onion, and garlic for about 5 minutes in the grapeseed oil and butter on medium heat (the white onion will start to turn translucent). Add the sun-dried tomatoes and sardine. Drain the noodles and roughly cut them with kitchen shears. Remove the saute from heat and toss the noodles in. Using tongs, toss in the basil and soy sauce. Top with the remaining green onion and serve. The beauty of this dish is that you don't really need to season, not even with salt (the soy sauce and sardines have plenty of salt).

Cheese Plate for Dessert

Jarlsberg

Irish Cheddar

Gruyere

1 T. pepper jelly

Not sure that these cheeses completed complimented each other, but they are what I had in the fridge, so I enjoyed about a tablespoon-sized portion with each for dessert. I used the individual pieces of cheese as the carrier for the pepper jelly.

Jack n' Jill's in Santa Monica

We have been here several times before, since it's walking distance from Mylo's place, but this morning was the first visit in a while. It's a little breakfast and lunch place in Santa Monica that originated in Beverly Hills (it has these two locations). The Santa Monica location (on Santa Monica Blvd. about 5 blocks east of the water) used to be called Blueberry. Not sure of the logistics behind the name change since people who have been to its other such-named place have said that the food is similar. I never went to the earlier location, but I like Jack n' Jill's. It's small, cozy, has its own organic charm.

Because there is usually a wait outside on weekends, they have complimentary freshly brewed iced green tea outside for anyone. Once inside, you order your food at the counter, and they hand you a number to put on your table so that when your food is ready, they will know where to bring your order. They have seating upstairs and on the ground floor where they proudly display a small assortment of pastries and cupcakes. They also have iced water with citrus slices in it on both levels for patrons to refill their cups at their leisure. Their coffee is brewed quite nicely, too.

On this trip, I ordered a breakfast wrap that included eggs, avocado, tomatoes, cheese and bacon (I did without these two) and chives wrapped in lavash and served with my choice of breakfast potatoes, cheese grits, or cottage cheese. Mylo order lox, onions, and eggs, topped with sour cream and capers. His entree came with a plate of their mini blueberry muffins.

I've ordered the eggs benedict in past visits (since I have to try eggs benedict wherever I go that it's offered) and I was not disappointed. Although the hollandaise was a little thick, it was delicious. Maybe because it's so thick I didn't get too much of it, so I had to ask for a little extra on the side. They promptly provided, no questions asked. Their service has actually always been good. Your coffee cup will never go empty and your table will always be cleaned.

Their menu has many healthy and interesting options for a place as small as theirs. A few of my favorites: the Beverly Frittata (egg whites, spicy ground turkey, grilled onions, tomato, garlic and mozzarella cheese served pancake style), the Breakfast Panini (three over hard eggs and turkey bacon, cheddar cheese, tomatoes and avocado all grilled in a crispy Panini), and any of their pancake stacks.

All in all, Jack n' Jill's in Santa Monica is a solid weekend breakfast experience. I would recommend to most anyone.

Jack n' Jill's
510 Santa Monica Blvd.
Santa Monica, CA 90401
(310) 656-1501
http://www.eatatjacknjills.com/

Quick Shrimp Salad Dinner

It's Friday night, and I'm stuck in traffic on the freeway on my way home. Mylo might beat me to my place, so I need to think of something quick, easy, and light for dinner. Hmmm... Aha! What about a shrimp salad? I could buy frozen, uncooked, peeled, and deveined shrimp. I've always got mixed greens in my fridge. And tomatoes and garlic in my window sill. I would just grab some crumbled goat cheese and already sliced mushrooms to add...and a bottle of white. My wine fridge is overtaken with my favorite reds. I'd need a milder white with shrimp, like a hearty Chardonnay, something that would stand up to the garlic and shrimp.

Trader Joe's is on my way home, so it wasn't difficult to stop in and quickly grab the shrimp, sliced mushrooms, some crumbled goat cheese, a bunch of basil (always good to have on hand) and a Rodney Shaw Chardonnay. I was on my way home and ready to start dinner.

Quick Shrimp Salad

1 bag of frozen, uncooked, peeled and deveined, shrimp

4 oz. sliced mushrooms, white or cremini

8 garlic cloves, minced

1 bag of mixed greens

2 Roma tomatoes, sliced
1/4 cup of basil, julienned

1/4 cup of crumpled goat cheese

1-2 T. EVOO (extra virgin olive oil)

kosher salt and fresh ground black pepper, to taste

Soak the bag of shrimp in room temperature water for 30 minutes or so (depending on how frozen the shrimp are). When they are thawed, heat a large pan and add the EVOO. Drop the shrimp in and salt and pepper. When the shrimp start to turn color, add the mushrooms and 4 T. of garlic, and season with more salt and pepper (season along the way). When the mushrooms start to release some moisture and the shrimp are opaque, remove from heat. Put the mixed greens in a bowl and toss in the basil and tomatoes. Salt and pepper. Add the mushrooms and shrimp, juices and all, and the other 4 T. of garlic to the salad and toss gently. Sprinkle the goat cheese over top. Serve immediately.